Well, here we are, first post on my new slimming down blog. I just started the blog, so tweaking design and such might follow later. For now, I thought I'd just jot down the starting point here :)

I am 34 years old (ok, and a half...). I know, a woman isn't supposed to reveal her weight... it should be classified information, not something shared with the world. But... I need the commitment, so out with it... I'll start with a very important point though, so you won't get this image of a totally rounded person right away lol. I am 180 cm tall. That's 5'11'' and that's quite tall for a girl. So, when you read the following numbers don't let your jaw hit the floor. The numbers are bad, but they at least spread over across a lot of height.

Enough apologizing... But I will make it a bit complicated... Ten years ago I used to weigh almost half of what I weigh today. I used to weigh 60 kgs, which is 132 lbs. That is not a lot for my height. In fact, it's very little, within the top models range easily. Now, mind, this was when I was at my thinnest, borderline anorexic even. I used to simply eat very very little, an average of 500 calories a day, and workout in the gym religiously. And I still looked in the mirror, thought I was still fat, and tried to lose some more. Reading these last two sentences again, yes, I think it's fair to say I have an eating disorder of sorts.

When I reached the age of 18 or so, I had already reached my full height and weighed a constant 73 kgs, or 161lbs. Like most teenagers, I wasn't happy with my weight, but I had maintained a fairly steady weight for 2-3 years, not dieting, just staying the same weight. Then I dieted for the first time... and the roller coaster ride was set in motion. I lose six kgs (13lbs) on my first diet. Was a happy thinner girl for a while. Then got it all back with some bonuses a year later. Another diet, back to the 70kgs region.

Then, as I joined the IDF at the age of 20 (having spent 4 years in university prior to that), I began to really gain weight. Many female soldiers do, it's quite common here. You sit in an office the whole day, little exercise. Then you have a canteen, not far from you with very low priced snacks. So, twice a day, at least, you excersize. You walk to the canteen. In my case, the canteen was in the same building as our office, so I had to walk three floors down and then three floors back again. Not too much of an intensive workout, plus, too often we used the elevator lol. And even if we did go on foot, it still didn't offset the packets of snacks, chocolate and soft drinks that we got back with us. So, I grew some more. And then some more. Changed uniform size until I reached about 85kgs (187 lbs). Then I felt really terribly fat. I got depressed over it, and over other things too. I reached a lowpoint of feeling unattractive. I was really really down.

One day, on my way home, on the bus I had an epiphany. I had been feeling down for a while, to the point of having an existential sort of depression. Thoughts about what's the point of life at all and such. Most people have had such an episode at some point, so I won't dwelve on this (not in this blog anyway). This post is getting too long as it is... So, to make a long story a bit shorter, I decided to challenge myself. To make life meaningful again by setting myself up with a challenge. To lose that extra weight and get really super sexy and attractive. I knew this would be a long process, and I decided to look at it like a game. Something to keep me busy mentally with a good, positive challenge. The next day, I had a talk with a fellow officer, a collegaue. We were talking about my weight issues, she (a very very thin person), saying how I indeed need to overcome my eating obsession. I told her about my new challenege and added one for her. I was to lose 10kgs and she was supposed to quit smoking. My point was to show her how hard it is to overcome food addiction. She said yes, and I went ahead. I ended up losing 25kgs. She never gave up smoking...

So, move forward to the age of 23. You have this thin tall person there, weighing 60kgs (132 lbs) and trying to lose more. Regularly at the gym, very fit, in great shape and feeling great too. I lost my glasses and switched to contact lenses. I got a new haircut and dyed my hair blonde... You get the picture - one hot chic! Flaunting it all with some cool clothes bought in shopping sprees in Paris no less! And then meeting the man of a her dreams among quite a few suitors at that time. A guy so wonderful, I remember thinking when we met, that's it's a shame I still want to play when such amazing husband material comes along lol. Well, I quit playing and gave up an interesting job offer out of the country and hooked up with him. Best thing that ever happened to me!

And so I began the "domestic bliss" phase of my life. We moved in together and I began playing "the housewife". We shared the cleaning chores, but I was in charge of cooking... and began some culinary enterprises there. And when you have such great food, pies and quiches galore, and pastas and cakes and what not... well, you get the picture. I gradually began gaining weight again. Things weren't that bad, but about two years later, for reasons best discussed in a separate blog (or at least a separate post), I became depressed again. A longer episode this time, and accompanied by panic attacks. I finally got medicated with prozac which literally saved my life. Life got better again, but I gained even more weight. Add to that a couple of pregnancies, each of them adding it's share to the weight gain and you get me today at, taking a deep breath here, 119 kgs or 262lbs... There, I've said it. Revealed my weight to the world lol.

I think this post has gotten long enough though, so might be time to wrap things up for today. I need to go and tuck in the kids anyway. I will be posting about my recent weight loss efforst in the coming few days. Thank you for stopping by, if you got this far reading this!